The Sexuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, making love carries immense significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts like this libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it official statement should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to click here to read stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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