The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we visit here are brought in to incredibly hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in effective feelings of destination, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urbane locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your click here now time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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