The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, values, and the original source requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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