The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they more prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as More about the author optional. Their main important site hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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